21 January 2010

RAW::Walking Toward

{buy this original artwork from AQuartzyLife on Etsy}

"Knowing what we don’t want is also knowing what we do want.
Abandoning is also approaching. Walking away from things – the right things – is also walking toward who we are."

~ Aidan Donnelly Rowley

This Random Act of Wisdom was tipped off from a blog that I have been following avidly of late. Aidan Donnelly Rowley is one of the most eloquent writers I choose to read. Every thing that she says is always so full of the meaning of life, whether it is the subtle nuances of parenting or the bigger picture of what really matters. I don't know how I stumbled on her blog. But I am glad I did.

Recently she posted something that has my mind reeling.

Walking Away = Walking Toward

You know when everything that you are thinking about seems to come back to you...like when you are breaking up and every song on the radio seems like the lyrics were written just for you? This post by Aidan Donnelly Rowley is like those lyrics for me.

Since I am personally considering where I am now and all that I might walk away from, I also need to consider what I am walking toward. That shift in thinking is truly eye opening for me.

She asks the question, what is so bad about walking away?

We struggle with that, don't we? We never want to see something come to an end. We relish new beginnings, looking forward to them. But it is painful when something ends, there is a break, the thing we have relied on and lived with for so long is not the same any longer. Sometimes it feels easier to stick with the status quo than to risk jumping ship and throwing yourself to the sharks.

Or is it?

"Some choices hold you down. Some chances set you free." ~ Christine Kane

I love this quote by Christine Kane. It speaks so much of the hope that can be realized by abandoning and walking toward. It is something that speaks to me as I read it each day and let that wisdom settle in my own soul preparing me for my own chance.

My dear friend R is facing the walking away dilemma right now. I know that this decision has been a long time coming, and it took an intervention of her family to make her realize that it was time. But that doesn't make it any easier. Now is the time that the if onlys... and what ifs... start to creep in. It doesn't mean that her dream doesn't have merit ~ on the contrary. Or that there aren't those of us out here who really believe in the beauty of that dream ~ we really do. It just means that now is not the time.

It has been hard. I have watched her cycle through the spiral of this doubt and uncertainty, yet she was always buoyed by a faith that what she was doing was changing lives. I just don't think that we know yet what sort of hole will be left in our community {and in our lives} without her in it. We don't know how much we touch the lives of others and we don't appreciate things until they are gone.

She told me today that it feels like she is having to put a pet to sleep. That image tears at my heart. You don't want to lose this living, growing thing that has become so much a part of your life, yet you know that the time for the suffering has come to the end. So we go through the grieving process together and hope for the best. But there are memories that will not fade. Memories, she says, of the thousands of photos over five years of all the countless lives that have been changed, no doubt been made better by this little experiment.

R is walking away, but she is also walking toward. There is a hope and a resiliency about her that I admire so much. I know that wherever she walks that she will move confidently in the direction of her dreams, it just might take her awhile to get there.

I hope she knows that no matter where she is walking toward that I want to walk beside her the whole way. Even if it takes her halfway around the world, I know she will get to where she is mean to be. This is the chance that will set her free so that she can begin again.

"Every new beginning starts with some other beginning’s end." ~Seneca

Are you starting something new? Are you looking forward to it or dreading it? How do you feel when you get to the end?
What are you walking toward today?
Do tell!

Check It Out::Ivy League Insecurities

Enjoy the day!


mairedodd said...

this is a beautifully poignant and energizing post... living this right now(we all are, in our own ways)... some choices are just bigger than others... this was put in such a wonderful way... and even though we have heard it in different ways, it never grows old... for it is a practice... we fear of what may be lost only because we haven't experienced what may be gained... the devil you know, so to speak... i want to start turning corners without reluctance, i want to do it with confidence and a straight spine... thank you, erin - this was really what i needed ...

SummersStudio said...

Beautifully, put these thoughts of yours. I am touched by the idea of walking towards rather than focusing on walking away. A few years ago we put into motion major changes in our lives and moved back home from many years in Australia. A wonderful life left behind. No jobs, only hope, and a desire to be closer to our family. I've struggled with the outcome of that decision in ways that were unanticipated. But this is such a lovely perspective to take. So in many ways, I am in the process right now of walking towards myself rather than away from my past. Thank you for giving me a new way to think about things.

Leslie @ Bei Mondi said...

This friend R sounds like someone very special. There is no doubt you will be there for her whenever she needs it in the future. Change is awesomely great and awesomely horrible. The not knowing what will happen if you take that chance is enough to drive you insane. Should you keep things the way they are? Or take that chance for greatness? I wish your friend the best and I hope she will keep in touch.

Cindy said...

There you go again, Erin...always challenging us to dig a little deeper and consider our choices. What a great post for reflection. And btw, you are such a wonderful friend to "R". :-)

EmandaJ said...

One of my favorite saying is, "The only thing constant is change." Even if we stay where we are, the circumstances change, we are changed. I like the idea of walking away is also walking toward. Thanks for the great insight.


Jannie Funster said...

Dear, Dear Erin. Thank you for pointing me to Aidan's beautiful blog, and writing. What a joy to find another soul sanctuary. The blogosphere is just so amazing.

I myself wonder if I am doing the right thing for my life and blog by starting my new MWF posting schedule. And I know this is just a super-small thing in the world of " real" problems, feel almost a little kooky for bringing it up. But at this point it matters to me. So I am experimenting to see if I am creating a favorable environment for my friends to look forward to my posts on specific days. Or am I hemming my spontanaeity in? And do readers like it better when they don't know when to expect the next post? Or... amI just a little hormonal today? :) See how teeny of a " problem" I have??

Jannie Funster said...

Shoot, I went up to correct a typo and couldn't get back to the bottom of my comment again to continue ...

Anyhoo, blessings and beauty always, Bead Girl.

And thanks for letting us know about Aidan!


Barbara Lewis said...

Beautifully said, Erin. When the pain of staying is greater than the pain of leaving, the decision seems easier to make. Your friend is lucky to have you by her side.

Lisa Crone said...

I think you are an angel on earth and cross people's path for absolutely purposeful reasons and absolutely appropriate times. We are all fortunate you are here! By helping your friend and writing about it not only from her perspective, but your own, you inadvertently help so many others. :)

Unknown said...

What an inspirational post! Thanks you for entering my give-away and good luck!

Sandy xox

Lora Hart said...

Hey Erin, Thanks so much for stopping by my blog and for your great comment. That and this post are really helping me to think about my lack of interest in all things bloggy (and other stuff) in another way. Thanks for the food for thought.

Jenn said...

Such a thought-provoking post...I love the end questions...When I do new things I look forward and dread at the same time.

Big thing: moving to Hong Kong. It's so fun to say, "I live in Hong Kong." I'm starting my second year here and living in a new apartment. The huge adjustment has been scary and exhilarating at the same time.

On a jewelry note, moving to the new flat has put a stop on lampwork...but has me moving toward polymer clay. My jewelry hobby is something that fills in the crevices of my life. However, it has been taking on a life of its own and building momentum. I enjoy how jewelry fills up the misc. energy. However, I miss the momentum I was building in glass. Still miss glass, but I'm learning new things I'd love to try when I can get back to glass. In the meantime, we'll where the polymer thing takes me.

Thanks for prodding my brain cells!


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