Gifts of Character: Fidelity

{Jukebox at Whitlow's on Wilson, Arlington VA. Photo by jagosaurus on Etsy}

"Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose." ~Helen Keller

The Virtues Project is an organization whose mission is "to inspire the practice of virtues in everyday life by helping people of all cultures to discover the transformative power of these universal gifts of character."

I stumbled across a set of Virtues Reflection Cards I had received awhile ago while cleaning and organizing my studio. This set of 100 cards provides a contemplation "to help you awaken your spirit and live by your deepest values." I decided that I would randomly pick one and place it in my studio as a reminder for the week.

This week I chose FIDELITY.

At first I was a bit uncomfortable with that. Fidelity means faithfulness, right? I am very faithful and loyal, faith-filled and steadfast. At least I like to think that I am. Here is what the card says:

"Fidelity is abiding by an agreement, treating it as a personal covenant. It is remaining true to a cherished ideal no matter what happens to thwart our purpose. Marriage thrives when we fulfill our promise of absolute faithfulness to each other. In each relationship we form, fidelity keeps us scrupulously loyal. We avoid backbiting and casting blame. We are devoted to our employment and keep faith with a standard of excellence. We continually aim to be trustworthy. Fidelity keeps us on a path of true integrity."

Whew. I guess it means more than I thought.

It is interesting that I have chosen this one this week. I have been wrestling with my Working Artist Initiative (WAI) timeline. I have strayed from that personal covenant. No fidelity there. But I am working to get back on track.

I have, in fact, remained true to my ideals no matter what. I have remained steady with my conscience as my guide to the ideals I believe in, even if it hurts or causes me to lose out on opportunities. I did just that last week when I felt compelled to say no, thank you to an opportunity to create something for a client. There was something I felt was inappropriate in the request. I just didn't believe in what was being asked, and I didn't feel that it was right to compromise my values just to make a few dollars. It was hard to say no, and I could have just sucked it up and done the task, but I couldn't very well stand up for that particular ideal if I caved into this one chance. I couldn't live with myself if I hadn't registered my feelings about it. So I did. And it wasn't as difficult as I thought. And even if the client didn't necessarily agree, at least they understood. That is all that I could ask for.

I have a very committed and loving relationship with my husband, so my marriage is practicing fidelity. Our 18th wedding anniversary {garnet or porcelain... I just bought some pendants from LeAnn Weih of Summers Studios... does that count?} will be later this month, and I am renewed in my commitment to our life and love. I am wondering how we should celebrate that fidelity...

Relationships take a lot of work. They are not like a cactus that you can prop in a window and leave save for the occasional drops of rationed water. They are more demanding than that, and that type of fidelity - to give the relationship what it needs to grow and thrive - is the hardest part. I confess that I am not always the best at the thriving part. But even if I am not as present in my friends' lives, I remain unfailingly loyal and we always seem to be able to pick up where we left off, as I did with my good friend Kari who came to visit me last month {Hi, Kari!}.

Devoted to employment? Ummm.... I don't really know how to answer that one. Let's just say that I manage to steer my car toward my office each day even though the urge is strong to drive on past each morning. So that standard of excellence thing may be lacking. But that whole loyalty thing explains why I have worked there for over 14 years...

But the last line is the kicker for me... "Fidelity keeps us on a path of true integrity."

I believe in that the most. The worst thing someone could do is to question my integrity. Integrity is truthfulness and honesty, but also a consistency in actions, values, methods, principles, and character. I really hope that when all is said and done, I will have shown the worth of my true integrity.

But if I truly believe in this line the most, I really do need to make some changes to my life in order to fully live this virtue.

The Practice of Fidelity

I honor my commitments.
I stay true to my partner.
I am loyal to those I love.
I work out problems directly.
I am meticulous in my work.
I walk my talk.

The Virtues Reflection Cards may be purchased from The Virtues Project. I plan to pull a random card each week and challenge myself to reflect on and live that card. They can be used as guidance in making a decision, clarifying direction or simply provide focus for the week. When I randomly select a virtue, it is either a confirmation or an invitation, never a condemnation.

What do you think?
Did you enjoy learning about the Virtues Project?
How would you use the virtues cards in your life?
Do you see yourself in this virtue? Where are you excelling? Where are you lacking?
I plan on having one randomly chosen virtue each week on my blog. What do you think about that?
Do tell!