02 January 2009

Looking Backward...Looking Forward

"A true artist is never satisfied, he is always in the state of becoming."

~Bob Dylan

If you knew then what you know now, how would your creative endeavors have changed?

Laura Jayne's blog http://picturespoetryprose.blogspot.com is one of the highlights of my week. I have found such kindred spirits on this site who are pouring their hearts and souls into the daily writing prompts. I was tickled when my poem won a few weeks ago, but I hadn't checked the winners of late. Today I went to read through some past winning writing and was delighted to find that my post was the winner from December 23, 2008.

The prompt was to write a letter to yourself at a younger time. What I wrote is below and came straight from my old heart to my young one.

To my 16 year old self...

Dear Erin-

After four decades I feel that I have the right to say what I know you were thinking back then, but couldn't bring yourself to believe. (Quit rolling your eyes, young lady!)

You will find the love of your life, but not in some faraway place. He will be right under your nose, practically in your backyard, even though you don't believe it could be possible with all the clods you go to school with. And he will love you more completely than you could ever have thought possible. He will treat you with espect and care and will bring you much happiness.
Just be open to the possibilities all around you.

Don't let others tell you that your interests are wrong.
Go with your gut.
Take those art classes you want to take.
mp up on stage and start singing your heart out.
I know you are waiting and hoping that someone will take you by the hand and lead you there and tell you that they have been waiting for you all along to share your gifts with the world. That just ain't gonna happen, girl!
You need to believe in yourself enough to be your own best cheerleader. Don't waste another minute!

At 40, I have finally found where my path in life was leading...if I had just had the confidence at 16 that I do now, there is now telling where I would be now! But I know that there is no where else to go but up and you are laying the foundation back in 1984. Make it strong.

Trust yourself.

Believe you are made for bringing light and joy to those around you.

You are not alone, your life is not lived in vain, and there are so many people who will come to be inspired and hopeful because you are in their lives.

Believe that there is a greater calling to your life and that you are meant to live it.

This is not some hooey I am telling you, I've been there. I am living it!

Love, Me (gray hair, wrinkles and all)

I am in a constant state of evolving as a human, but now I have realized that my evolving is most complete when it is part of my creative endeavors. I don't regret that I didn't have the opportunities then that I have now, nor do I regret that it took me this long to find where my true path was leading me. Therefore I will not be satisfied to waste any more time doing that which I don't love doing nor that which does not bring beauty to this world.

What would you tell yourself at 16 about your life now?

What I have learned is that I wouldn't have changed a thing about my past because it has lead me to be where I am today, strong enough to take on the world.

Enjoy the day!


jennifer lee said...

Hi Erin! Thanks for your lovely e-mail and for the mention on your blog!! Jenn

Michelle Brunner said...

Erin, Thanks for visiting my blog! I just love the letter you wrote to your younger self....I have always thought how cool it would have been to actually at 16 receive such a letter! There are so many things I would love to tell my younger self...much is what you wrote in your letter!

As for MTV...I really miss the good ol' days when they actually played music! What has happened?!

Jenners said...

That was such a cool post! Gosh -- I might have to try writing that letter to my past self! It would be a great exercise! I know I have a lot I would like to tell her -- like don't get married just because you are 27 and afraid no one else will ask you (that one didn't work out). If you have to work too hard at love, it isn't good for you. Don't be such a know-it-all at your first jobs -- those older women were amused by you just like you are amused by younger people now!

I love being in my 40s ... there is such a freedom to it that I didn't have when I was younger and cared way too much about what others thought and what I SHOULD do rather than what I wanted to do. But like you, I'm glad that the path I followed brought me here where I am today!

Lovely post. So thought provoking!

And congrats on getting your poem winning! That is wonderful!

Sacha van Straten said...

Hi Erin,

I hope you enjoy using wordle.net as much as I do. It is very addictive, I must warn you!

Now, I must thank you for writing such a wonderful posting. I'll turn 40 at the end of this year and over the Xmas break I've found myself being unusually introspective. I suppose it's because my life now bears no relation to the life I imagined might be mine for the living.

It's only in the last couple of days, when I've had to gear up for the return to school and a multitude of things (including, hopefully, starting a Masters degree next month), that the excitement of being alive and open to possibilities has returned.

Your writing has been a real boost. So thanks again,


Sacha van Straten said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
TesoriTrovati said...

Jennifer, Michelle, Jenners and Sacha....your kindness melts my heart! I am so glad that I was able to touch a part of your soul with my words. I would encourage you to write that letter to your former self. But don't edit, just let it flow! But, there is another paragraph I would have, should have written...about my kids. I never thought that I would want to have kids but looking back I am so blessed to have a piece of my heart walking around outside my body. And love doesn't split, it multiplies the more love you give. They are such wonderful little people growing into such wonderful big people. Truly a blessing!
Enjoy the day!

Laura Jayne said...

I almost felt as if you were speaking to a young me. I especially like that little line... Quit rolling your eyes, young lady.


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